Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Things People Do To Me

Just Rude
People often ask me if they can pull a string on my harp.  Sometimes they just do it without asking.  Sometimes they even do it without asking while I’m playing.  Um, hello? Ever heard of personal space? Ever heard of not touching other people’s expensive personal property without permission? Ever heard of not interrupting an inspired performance? It’s just rude. 

If you enter my harp bubble, I shoot you with my angry eyes.  
  
I’ve Probably Been Posted on Social Networks Hundreds of Times
Many of my harp adventures came to pass during my central park busking days.  I often felt like the newest New York landmark, because people would flock to me to pose for pictures.  I seriously thought about posting a sign asking for a dollar per picture.  I would’ve made bank.  I’ve probably been posted on social networks hundreds of times with captions like, “What the (insert word of choice) is this thing in central park?!”

Once a foreign couple in full wedding garb passed by, toting their videographer with them.  Said videographer took a video of said couple dancing in slow motion next to me.  I definitely should have charged them for that one. 

Karaoke
Again in central park, a little boy, who informed me that his name is Barack (I found that especially memorable, as it is a rare name and is also the name of the US President), decided that I was something of a live karaoke machine.  Yeah, I was playing Disney songs (I hope I don’t get a call from a Disney lawyer for posting that), so I suppose I should have expected as much.  It was pretty cute, but also kind of annoying.  He just stood in front of me, facing me, singing his heart out.  I wouldn’t have minded so much, but I’m pretty sure it drove some people away.  When I busk I mean business. 
  
I Probably Shouldn’t Even Share the Horror That is This Story
Once while I was tuning before high school orchestra, a cellist picked up his cello to extend his end pin.  He hit the sound board of the harp with his end pin on its way back to the floor.  It was horrifying.  Thank goodness the harp was a member of the aforementioned plywood breed of harps and not my own. 

Timber!
My most recent audience member-caused performance mishap occurred at a fundraiser dinner.  I was there with the Dothan Moonlighters, a big band.  I performed several pieces with the band, as well as several solos.  In the middle of one of my solos (of course) one of the servers walked into my stand, causing my stand, and the very heavy music book that was perched upon it, to become acquainted with the reality that is gravity.  Again I can say thank goodness, because it fell away from my harp.  (Instead it hit the back of an unsuspecting patron’s chair.  Is it wrong of me to be grateful for that?)