Plywood

On rare and glorious occasions I am asked to play gigs that provide a harp for me.  It is a liberating thing to show up to a rehearsal or a concert having brought nothing but my backpack.  However the harps that are provided for these things are usually.…well, they suck.  They’re kind of their own breed of harp.  I used to joke that the harp at my high school was made of plywood.  The thing resonated about as much as plywood.  That’s how they all are; they’re the plywood breed of harps.

People ask me if it throws me off to play on unfamiliar harps.  I like to compare it to driving an unfamiliar car.  Driving an unfamiliar car can take some getting used to and similarly playing an unfamiliar harp can require some adjusting.  The stiffness of the pedals and responsiveness of the strings can vary from harp to harp.  Also harps can have horrifying little surprises nestled in their apparently innocent facade, such as wire strings that make a horrible buzzing sound when played too loudly, false strings that just won’t make harmonics, and pedals that pop out of place.  It takes a bit of playing around to discover the quirks of each harp.  But on plywood harps it doesn't really matter.  I usually give up on making any good music on them and just try to get the notes out.  Poor harps.  I do pity them.  Most of them spend the greater part of their lives locked away in pitch black closets, probably crying in the despair of uselessness with only creepy insects and arachnids to comfort them.  Once I was playing a plywood and I noticed a spider crawling around my feet.  I’m 95% sure it crawled out of the harp.  Imagine being forced to lean an instrument on yourself knowing a spider might crawl onto your shoulder and down your shirt.